Chris Brown Unfollows Rihanna On Twitter. OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!

What in God's name is going on in the world? People are dying like flies from the new Chinese Bird Flu, Syrians are being poisoned by nerve gas, terrorists are crawling under every rock, the Yankees playing like the Mets, and now, now Lord have mercy I have to find out that Chris Brown has unfollowed Rihanna on Twitter?!?!?!?!
Is there no justice in the world? When will all the heartache stop? How am I to go on knowing that Brown is not following Rihanna's posts on twitter? I can't go on! I just can't go onnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim Kardashian Shocked IN Greece

Kim Kardashian, looking for a change of scenery dashed the whole tribe over to Greece. But what a shock she had in store when she landed and there was no one to carry her bags off except for to two  baggage employees neither wearing a uniform,  one carrying a knife. Further surprises where in store when she hailed a cab for the brood and a flat bed tractor trailer pulled up. Kim tried to wave him off but it seemed to like he had a knife. So off they went to their 5 star hotel sans shoes, jewelry and a good portion of their dignity. Finally reaching the destination, The 3 Seasons in Athens they helped themselves to a serving of Spam on crackers and cups of lukewarm brown water. Finally Kim had enough and started screaming " I thought this island was a living example of austerity where gold lined the streets, you could shop till you dropped, where everyone was austerity!?. It was not long until an elderly male walked over to the now freaking  drama queen and gently said "Madam, I think you have things confused. Yes, it is true that we live in the grip of austerity. My dear, I believe you have the words austerity and prosperity mixed up", to whom Kim replied "What's the difference" which was quickly followed by a collective groan from the whole family

2 Chainz Busted and Disgusted

Rapper 2 Chainz was arrested by police after they found drug paraphernalia in his car. But 5-0 made a deal with him. If he took a fan pick with them they would let him go. But just after taking the picture, police state Chainz's pants busted open and out came 14 keys of coke, 400 pounds of weed, 23 pounds of meth and the old dried up body of Jimmy Hoffa. Chainz was quoted as say "Shit knows how that got in there". Chainz was later treated at a local hospital after police said he tried to escape and the two smiling cops in the photo went medieval on him

Angelina Jolie Voted Most Annoying Celebrity

Angelina Jolie was voted The most Annoying Celebrity by the Celebrity Lovers and Haters Guild of America. Categories participant's were judged on included smugness, looking down the nose, better than thou, and backer of useless causes. Said one judge "It's gotten so I can't stand the site of her".
Ms. Jolie beat out an impressive field of runner ups including Joey Buttafuco, Anthony Wiener, Charles "Charley" Manson , Matt Lauer, Dustin "Screech" Diamond. Jolie refused to comment on her award but Justin Diamond was quoted as saying "I'm not number one anymore, so stop throwing eggs at my f--king window".

Photographer Arrested For Topless Photos of Kate Middleton

Photographer Valerie Suau of the magazine closer was arrested for taking pictures of a topless Kate Middleton while on vacation with her husband Prince "Less Hair to comb, more face to wash "William while on vacation. Authorities were notified after a call by a magazine publisher who found many of his staff rolling on the floor complaining of nausea. Immediately expecting a chemical attack he called police. Police responded in Hazardous Material suits but quickly found the cause for everyone's sickness. It seems that one of the staff members was looking closely at the photo with a magnifying glass when he observed that Prince Harry's left testicle was partially poking through his shorts and had a big red pimple on it. The rest of the staff members crowded around to look. Unfortunately they were having pizza with peperoni that day. One of the staffers mentioned "Hey, that looks like the peperoni on the pizza" Immediately one of the staffers began to wretch followed by one after the other of the staffers. Police confiscated the photo and placed it in a black bag labeled Public Hazard and brought it over to the Edenwald furnace where it was destroyed. The photographer was arrested on public nuisance charges and sentenced to look at the same picture blown up 5 times until she vomited so much she passed out

Mike "The Situation: New Reality Show "MENSA-GOTZ"

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, from the reality show Jersey Shore announced he will be host of a new game show called "MENSA-GOTZ" a show where contestants compete to score the lowest IQ to win cash and valuable prizes. Said Mike " All my life I've been watching that asshole Trabeck from Jeopardy asking questions that like a person that went to community college couldn't answer. So I said, yo man screw this, I'm gonna make a show with questions anyone can answer". Mike later revealed he had friends sending him some questions they thought a lot of people would be able to answer and make the game more fun. His friend Nunzio "The Tongue" Tuccollo sent him in a few he's thinking of using on the show. "Yeah", Mike said "my boy Nunzio sent me a couple of questions to check and see how they would do on the show. He was worried they might be too hard". Some of the questions included "What color was George Washington's white horse, Who's buried in Grant's tomb and If you have a dollar in your pocket and loss it, how much money do you have left". Mike laughed as he read the questions, "What do I give a fuck what color Washington's horse was or who's buried in Grant's tomb. What the fuck I look like, one of those history people. And I can tell you know I got a lot more than a dollar in my pocket".
The show is set to run just following the 2013 Republican National Convention so as to capitalize on the anti-MENSA sentiment that pervades the convention.

Rapper Julez Santana Busted For Threatening Fake wife

Rapper Julez Santana was taken into custody for making terrorist threats against his wife a couple days ago. Friends of the rapper were mystified, said one "That MOFO ain't married, man. I'm telling you I'm his main man and i would know if the dude was married. This just more harassment by the man".  Police where called to the home by a mail carrier on his first day on the job after  hearing the enraged rapper screaming "That's right bitch, get down there. Take it like a woman o I'm gonna beat your ass". Red faced, laughing police were forced to let Julez go when a search of his apartment turned up not a woman but a blow up sex doll named MoMo. Said his friend Tyrell "that's more like it. That shit I can believe

Kourtney Kardashian Big Secret: Dick May Not Be Mason Disick's

Rumors are that Kourtney Kardashian is carrying around a big secret: Scott may not be Mason Disicks father!
This reporter, flabbergasted by the news went out in the street to gauge reaction to the earth shattering news from passerby.
I first spoke to Linda Grant, mother of 12 pushing groceries down the street, "Ms. Grant', I asked, 'are you upset by the possibility that Scott may not be the father of Mason Disik" Looking me up and down, head full of curlers with a cigarette dangling form her lips, she answered "listen asshole,I have12 little sons a bitches  to take care of. Why are you asking me about people that ain't worth a shit".
Other answers I received to my question include:
15 "Who's?"
12 "Who the fuck is this person and why should I care?"
11 "Why don't you ask an intelligent question"
8 "Is that the sister o' the bitch with the big ass?"
7 "Who gives a fuck about Kourtney, where's her big ass sister"
3 " Maybe he's praying he's not the father so he can get away from that bunch of Hollywood hillbillies'
1 " Man, that Bruce Jenner used to be good looking. Now he looks like shit"

Justin Bieber stable After being Trapped In Locked Car

Justin Bieber is resting comfortably after spending 4 hours locked inside his running car. According to Capt. John Silver, members of  the  LAPD responded to a call of an unattended running car in a parking lot next to the main headquarters of the Mensa Society. Police noticed the international pop star pale and sweating profusely in the front seat of the car. Scratched across the windshield was the plea  "Get Mee Out". Bieber was apparently so disoriented he could not understand police officers orders to roll down the window or to open the door. Police in the end freed  Bieber from the vehicle by breaking a rear window. When asked why he didn't just call 911 for help, he sheepishly replied "I forgot how to spell the numbers"

"We Fly High's" Jim Jones Victim Of Racial Driving Without A License

"We Fly High" rapper Jim Jones says he was the victim of racial profiling after an officer at Newark Airport observed the rapper use his temporary drivers license to roll and smoke a blunt. Mr. Jones appeared furious, "them motherfucking cops not only had the balls to come after me because of how I be lookin. Then to top the shit off, the motherfucker then give me a ticket for driving without a license.  I mean whitey said he saw me using it to smoke then gave me a ticket for not having it ."Rapper You Too Ugly For My Johnson, Rick Pee, who had come by to see how his friend Jones was doing, was also arrested when police observed 4 handguns and a pee-shooter tucked into his waist band. Mr. Pee also complained of racial profiling  "Yo, I just went to see how my boy was doing. Then this cop asks me what's that stickin' out my belt. I told him those was my guns and I had a license for them from Adeles Gun and Hairstyling Parlor in Camden , NJ. Next thing I knows I'm race down on the floor with some cops nightstick shoved up my butt If I was white I coulda drove be them with a motherfuckin tank and they wouldn't give a shit".
Rapper Jim Jones was released on his own recognizance with a ticket for driving without a license. Mr. Pee is being held after ballistics reports showed that three of the four guns Mr. Pee was caught with came up positive in the murders of 4 men, 3 pigeons, 2 parakeets and a bulldog. Said Mr.Pee 'Yo, man I was just holding them for a friend:.

Justin Bieber On Immigration: "Jose Can See,He Just Needs A Job"

Justin Bieber, during an interview with Celebrity BS News was asked about his thoughts on the current immigration controversy raging in the United States said , " Man I don't get it, every year millions of Peurto  Ricans risk their lives by swimming across the Mississippi River from Mexico to work in the United States. They get the lowest paying jobs, like mowing lawns in Detroit and picking strawberries in places like Camden, NJ and everyone gets pissed off. They get paid like ten cents an hour and send like half that money to a place called Western Union so that they can have, like some protection from the people that are their bosses. Most of the rest  they send home to their relatives. And like the United States is like so hypocritical. I mean check out the first line in the National Anthem.What's it say? 'Jose can you see?. They are all so worried about Jose seeing but they don't care if he can eat or pay his rent!". The interviewer, Josh Lob now drooling and glassy eyed then asked if he had anything he wanted to say directly to the American people. "Yeah", answered Bieber looking directly into the camera, "Come on America, I know a few people named Jose and they see just fine. All they need is a job. Come on , give em a chance"

Nate Doggs Baby Mama: Dead You Maybe But Give Me Money For Baby

The baby mama of rapper Nate Dogg, miffed the decaying rapper had the audacity to die in a bid to escape paying her the $300,000 in child support, contacted famed lawyer Joe "Pay Me" Tucker to help her in her bid to collect what Sherida Williams described as " my motherf--king money that that dead Motherf--king motherf--ker owes me and my child". Ms. Williams, no stranger to bad luck was the self-proclaimed fiance of aspiring rapper Kenny 'Clutch" Cherry, killed when the Maserati he was driving down  Las Vegas Boulevard  was struck by gunfire causing it to crash and burst into flames recently. Said Ms.Williams "And that other motherf--ker Clutch, tells me he's just starting out in the rap business, he got no money because he's an expiring rapper. Motherf--ker takes money from me to buy  chicken and beer. Next day a friend reads for me in a newspaper that the motherf--ker gets killed driving a motherf--king Maserati. Tell me, how does an expiring rapper drive a million dollar car when the motherf--ker ain't got no money to buy chicken,hmm?".
Mr. Tucker, who graduated Magna Cum Get Me at Newark's "Law School and Chicken Joint" said it doesn't matter that Mr. Dogg has expired. He still intends to get the money owed to Ms. Williams "Well I got an aunt who is one of the best psychics in the world. We'll make sure he gets no peace in his eternal rest until he takes care of his responsibilities ".
Mr. Dogg, reached by psychic Georgio Lala, had only this to say, "I get along better with the f--king Devil than I ever did with that bitch. They want 300 G's, tell em they can come down here and pull it out my black ass"