Amanda Bynes Arrested After She Tries To Out-Bong The Cops

Amanda Bynes was arrest last night on marijuana possession charges after a bong somehow made it from her apartment to the street 36 stories below. Bynes who has said before she does not smoke pot but tobacco appeared in court wearing a blond wig she picked up at Rickey's on 6th ave

told police what came crashing down on the street was not a bong but a vase (bong/vase get hit in the head with either from 36 stories and you'll be filing charges with St.Peter instead of the NYPD). A friend of the actress said confidentially, "She knows her star is on the way down so she decided to rip a page from Lindsey Lohan's playbook on how to stay viable on the tabloids despite not having made a movie or starred in a series since the Andy Griffith Show was a prime time feature". By the looks of her photo above she may still have a future in the movies but she'll have to move to California since those types of movies cannot be legally made in New York. But hey,, what would she care anyway?
 

Bruce Jenner to Kayne West :" Just The Furniture Needs A Little Polishing"

Kayne West was madder than an alcoholic without a can opener recently. It seems that Kayne dropped over unexpectedly at the Kardasian house and was met at the door by Bruce Jenner. Now Bruce, who had only met Kayne once and didn't recognize him welcomed him in the home and said something like "just the furniture needs a little polishing and the rugs need to be vacuumed. Kayne, not thinking anything of it grabbed a rag and started on the furniture. It took about ten seconds to realize what was going on. According to sources who would not reveal their names out of fears they'd be fired, Kayne turned around angrily and said "Hey you!Yeah you, ya plastic-faced looking motherf---er,I aint come here to dust no fu--in furniture!". With that Jenner threw his hands up in the air and said "Oh my God it's a robbery! Everyone cooperate! Give the man what he wants and he'll leave us alone!" Kanye West, shaking his head in disbelieve shot back at Jenner, "Look ya liily-white motherf--ker I could afford to buy you and not sell you. Keep you like like a house pet. Listen I'm getting pissed off. My name is Kanye West and I'm here to pick up your fat-assed daughter Kim". Just then Chloe came down stairs and indeed confirmed to her father that the man standing in his living room was there to pick up Kim. Bruce Jenner, overwhelmed with embarrassment then clumsily asked Kayne if he wanted something to drink, apologizing for not having any 40's in the frig. Kayne, who had enough just turned to Khloe and asked her to tell Kim to meet him outside in the car.

Wade Robinson Alleges Michael Jackson Molested Him

A team of sanitation men were emptying a trash dumpster in Los Angeles when out popped none other than Wade Robinson, choreographer most recently known for his stint on "So You Think You Can Dance" with allegations that Micheal Jackson molested him., of course, before he died Robinson has filed suit in Los Angeles against the Jackson Estate requesting...MONEY! Funny, but the thing that may strike many as strange was that in 2005 Mr. Robinson categorically denied the Micheal Jackson molested him. Why did he not state the fact in the 2005 hearing? I mean MJ was at the trial then but it wasn't like Robinson was staring down the likes of John Gotti or even Joan Rivers for that that matter. Now the King of Pop is gone and not here to defend himself. Soon you'll be seeing men in their 70's and 80's charging Michael Jackson molested them when they were children. Wade denied he molested him in 2005 but in 2013 he then alleges molestation? Sorry, this don't sound kosher in my book (I can say that. I converted to Judaism long ago. And no, Jerry I didn't do it for the jokes). So Mr. Robson, good luck in your pursuits and I'm hoping you get some money. You have about one minute and thirty-three seconds left in you fifteen minutes of fame. Glad to see your using it wisely.

A Story On Another Of My Blogs I Think You'll Like

http://banalandbuncombe.blogspot.com/

Randy Jackson Leaving Idol Taking Over For Maury Povich

Randy Jackson has announced he will be leaving American Idol to take over as host for The Maury Show at the end of the year. Jackson said he would change some of the show's staple themes like exploiting blacks and poor white trash. "I want to get more a distribution of the American public up there. I want to show that rich folk, especially white ones screw up as much as anyone else". Jackson said he would also include an Idol-type theme into the show called the Your Not The Father Spontaneous Dance that will award those men found to be falsely accused who take to the floor "and show the world what they can do!" said Jackson. There will also be awards for those women who make it from the couch to back stage in the best time after finding out "he's not your baby's daddy". The show is slated to run this fall opposite Ellen Degenerous, the currently reining daytime talk show host.
Of course the above is a spoof, and that's all I intended it to be. but as I was writing I began to think about The Maury show more and more and found that it is really reprehensible in how it takes advantage of blacks and poor white folk who may think that they are there to get some justice when all they are is providing The Povich show ratings and advertisement revenue. Think Maury gives a crap about his guests? How many times have you seen him chase some poor woman down backstage, a woman who has just had her life torn apart and all her most personal secrets revealed to million of voyeurs and say "Wait! Wait! I'm not finished . There's more!". When you really sit down and think of it, it's really a terrible thing to do and I can't believe I've never heard anyone complain about it before.

Justin Bieber To Give Up Monkey

Justin Beiber decided to give up his pet monkey than to spend the $27.36 he owed to German authorities who had held it in quarantine when the reigning Rhodes Scholar of Pop entered the country . Bieber, who pleaded ignorance to what "German" meant in a past article, reportedly told a friend "I never liked that damn monkey. My agent told me it would remind people of Michael Jackson.I still don't know what he meant, me and Mike don't even look alike".
But friends said Justin just couldn't bring himself to send money to a place called Germany which he swears he never heard of. Speaking of Monkey Gate later to a reporter while surrounded by a retinue of bodyguards, Justin tried to explain his way out, " I'm famous! I got a lot of money! I'm gonna send $27 dollars to a place no one's ever heard of like Germany?" That's when one of his bodyguards piped in with a sly smile, "Yeah, right, Jus soon they'll be asking you to send money to fake places like Greece and Berkley Heights, New Jersey". Bieber turned to back to the reporter, shoulders shrugged  and exclaimed "See what I mean!".

Kim Kardashian Gets Live Fish Pedicure. PETA Protests

The Greek chapter of  People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA launched a protest when it was discovered that Kim " Famous For God  Knows What" Kardashian received a live-fish pedicure during her recent trip to the land of Socrates. "It is bad enough that that these fish are caged together like animals but to have to bow down to the feet of a Kardashian, well that's more than enough for man or beast" cried local PETA spokesperson Ann LaLooney" adding " to say nothing of the fact that Piranha are not native to Greek waters in the first place!". Kardashian had this to say to PETA, "I just had such a beautiful pedicure. It would be a shame for me to put my foot in someones ass now and ruin the whole thing". Kim said her next plan was to get a Brazilian performed by a bobcat in Wyoming on her return to the states,

Khloe Kardasian Breaks Up With Rashad McCants

The sister Kim Kardashian, Khloe  reportedly has broken up with her main squeeze NBA player Rashad McMCants. Supposedly Khloe found Rashad cheating on her over the internet (she is said to have  immediately brought her computer into the closet Best Buy in an attempt to check it for viruses). Rashad angrily denied he had been cheating and offered to take his own computer in to check it for a virus to prove he'd been faithful. But rumor has it that the computer thing was not the real reason for the breakup. Apparently Khloe went into this marriage with, let's say big expectations and was extremely disappointed to find out that not all people of a certain ethnicity share the same, eh,  characteristics. She is reported to have told a friend that she has "bent over backwards for Rashad" but Khloe could find no satisfaction. She even tried blaring conservative A.M radio stations with their blend of debt relief and enhancement commercials, all to no use. She got so frustrated she replayed The Wizard of Oz hundreds of times singing loudly in Rashad's face "We Represent The Lollipop Guild" over and over. She also walked around the house singing "Umpa, Dumpa Dupidy Do You Ain't Got What They Say You Do" until Rashad tossed a string of linguini at her and ran screaming from the house. The estranged couple are living apart. Said Khloe  "we won't be getting back together until he grows.............up!".

Lindsay Lohan Switches Rehabs, Pisses Off Prosecuters

The indomitable Lindsay Lohan, star of at least 3 movies no one has ever heard of, has proceeded to piss off  prosecutors in one of her hundred and one trials by switching rehabs without letting prosecutors know. Originally slated to enter New York's Seafield Center Ms. Lohan instead checked into the "Come When and If You Want" rehab center located on a stretch of sand in Santa Monica Beach, California. The rehab, run by a relative of the legendary drug advocate, Timothy Leary, meets once a week if anyone cares to show up. Ms. Lohan was quoted as saying " This is the kind of rehab that suits me just fine, yes it does,one that I'm sure to complete and come out better person"
Lohan was ordered into rehab following her 69th arrest on drunk and disorderly charges, " For someone like Lohan maybe 69 will be a charm?